With Or Without You
by woodrosegirl
Summary: Jayne Torvill and Christopher Dean Dancing On Ice story. Jayne takes a fall, which will change both their lives forever.
1. Chapter 1

Title: With or Without You  
Rating: PG  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Jayne Torvill, Chris Dean do not belong to me and as far as I know, this never happened. And obviously, I hope this never happens.

Feedback (good or bad) welcomed with hugs!

***********  
I remember once, an interviewer asked me what impressed me most. Was it my own choreography he asked, or other pair skaters? The answer was simple. "Jayne." He smiled at this, and moved onto the next question. I think about this now as I watch Jayne practice her routine in the silks. She's always impressed me, ever since I was a boy and saw her skate for the first time. Since then she's always done above and beyond what was asked of her. Try for Olympic gold? She tackled that with her usual calmness and determination, and it paid off for both of us. Even when my ideas got too big, and the routines too complicated she always managed to pull them off. Either that or she calmly reined me in when I went to far. This happened often, especially on Dancing on Ice, when I tried to push the contestants too far. She would calmly take me to one side and explain that the contestant wasn't ready yet, and to give them more time. That's how we worked, and have done for over 30 years. Today we were practicing a routine to mark the 28 year anniversary of Bolero; it was to be a silk routine set to the Scala choir's version of "With or Without You"

Jayne loved the romance concept to it, and also loved the silks aspect of it. She arguably had more to do in the routine then I did so I was taking a break at the side of the rink while she worked. I watched as she fluidly moved from one position to the next, making it look so effortless. And then it happened, one minute she was up in the silks, the next her feet came undone from the knot at the end, she missed the silk with her hand and fell. As soon as she started to fall I dropped the drink I was holding and instinctively skated as fast as I could over to her. I wasn't in time to catch her, but luckily she wasn't as high as she could have been. Still, the sound of her hitting the ice made me feel sick to my stomach. I skate furiously over to her, shouting her name.

"Jayne, Jayne!" I kneel beside her, still calling her name, praying that she would wake up. With two fingers I frantically search for her pulse, sighing with relief when I find it. It's slower than it should be, but it's there, and I sigh further with relief when her eyes slowly begin to open.  
"Chris?" she says, groggily.  
"It's okay, it's okay" I tell her, reaching for her hand. She tries to sit up but I firmly lean her back down on the ice. "Don't move, not until they've checked you out"  
"What happened?" she asks.  
"You fell, out of the silks"  
Luckily, the rink side doctor comes straight over to check her over.  
"Jayne, how are you feeling?" he asks, bending over her to check her pulse and respiratory rates.  
"I feel…..okay" she says. "Nothing hurts"  
"Did she loose consciousness?" the doctor asks me.  
"Yes, but not for long" I confirm.  
"Okay, we should probably take her to the hospital to get her checked out"  
"No!" Jayne interrupts. "I'm fine" She moves to sit up. "Honest"  
The doctor and I share a look. "Okay, but you're not going up in the silks again" he says. "That's fine, I'll work with the contestants" she says.  
"Okay" the doctor says. He turns to me and says softly. "Keep an eye on her, I'm not happy she's not going to the hospital, especially with her losing consciousness" I nod in response and move over to Jayne to help her stand up.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I say.  
"Yes" she says, adjusting her top. Its then she looks up and see's the concern written all over my face. "Are you?" she asks. I hold out my arms to her and envelop her in a hug. "Yes" I murmur, planting kisses on the top of her head. "Just worried about you that's all"  
"I'll be fine" she says, her voice muffled as it's buried in my chest.  
"You will tell me though, if you're not" I ask, releasing her from my arms.  
"Yes, promise"

I plant one final kiss on her forehead before she skates off to find Sam, who we are working with this morning. The rest of the morning goes without a hitch, Jayne and I work together to teach Sam his moves. After lunch we work with Seb, whose insisting on doing a Russian split jump towards the end of his routine. Towards the end of the routine I notice Jayne's looking exhausted, and while I'm patiently going through the split jump with Seb, she skates off to the side of the rink and bends down, placing her hands on her knees. I excuse myself, and skate over to her. I place my hand reassuringly on her back and she looks up at me. She looks pale and tired, and I wish that I had made her go to the hospital to get checked out.  
"What's wrong?" I ask her worriedly.  
"My heads spinning" she says.  
"Are you dizzy?" I ask.  
She nods relucantly. "Okay" I keep my hand on her back as she moves up to full height and I take her hand and help her off the ice.  
"Sit down" I tell her, and I take the seat next to her. She puts her head in her hands to try and alleviate the dizzyness.  
"Have you got a headache?" I ask her quietly.  
"Yes, but it's more of a migraine" she says, her voice muffled by her hands.  
"Maybe we should get the doctor back" I suggest.  
"No, it's fine" she stubbournly says. I sigh, torn between wanting to respect her wishes, but at the same time feeling increasingly worried about her.  
"Okay, but let me take you home, and I'm staying with you tonight"  
"That's fine" she says. "I'll be glad of the company anyway" I chuckle softly to myself before bending down and helping her skates. "Thank You" she says.  
I pack our skating bags before heading over to Karen to explain the situation. I walk back over to where Jayne is sitting.  
"Time to go" I say.  
**********************


	2. Chapter 2

Rating: PG  
Disclaimer: Still not mine

*********  
I pack our skating bags before heading off to Karen to explain the situation. Then I step over to where Jayne is sitting and we head off to the car, with her leaning heavily against me. I settle her into the passenger seat, before putting our skating bags in the boot and starting the car. Luckily it's only a short drive from the rink to the house that Jayne rents when she's filming Dancing on Ice. Even so, when I glance over to her, she appears asleep; her head leaning against the window, eyes closed, no doubt to block out the glare of the sun that can't be helping her headache.

When I pull up to her house I step out of the car and unlock the front door as I don't really want her walking with her feeling dizzy earlier. I move over to Jayne and take her in my arms before carrying her upstairs and laying her on her bed. I rummage through her drawers and find her a pair of pyjama's before trying to wake her up a bit so she can get changed and take some painkillers. I nudge her gently.

"Jayne, Jayne you need to wake up a bit sweetheart"  
"I'm here" she says sleepily.  
"You need to get changed" I say, handing her the pyjamas.  
"Okay" she says, sitting up.  
"I'll be right back, I'm just going to get you some painkillers, okay?"

She nods, and I leave her to rummage through her bathroom cabinet to find her some painkillers. Unsurprisingly it's not the most organised cabinet and it takes me a good few minutes to find what I need. I get her a glass of water and return to her bedroom. She's lying in bed, pyjamas on but her eyes are open. I take a seat next to her on the bed.

"How's your head?" I ask, handing her the painkillers.  
"Not good" she shakes her head then winces. "That didn't help"  
She takes the painkillers and sets the glass on the side.  
"Thanks" she says gratefully.  
She settles down into the bed.  
"Close your eyes" I say.  
"What are you going to do?" she asks.  
"I'm staying here with you"  
"You don't have too" she says, closing her eyes, and turning onto her side, facing me.  
"I want to" I say, reaching out and stroking her hair.

I stay by her side, stroking her hair until I hear her breathing even out and become regular. I lean down and kiss her on the forehead. I was worried about her, and just hoped that after some painkillers and a sleep that she would be okay. Careful not to jostle her, I move over to the other side of the bed and lie next to her, pressing my chest into her back and putting my arms round her.  
"That feels nice" she says, half asleep.  
Comforted by the sound of her soft breathing, it's not long before I find myself drifting off too. I awake, several hours later to find Jayne stirring in my arms. She turns round to face me and I place a gentle kiss on her forehead.  
"What time is it?" she says quietly.  
I check my watch. "About five" I inform her. "How are you feeling? Do you want something to eat?"  
She inclines her head and frowns.  
"Head still hurts, some soup would be good, but first, bathroom"  
"Okay"

I release my arms from around her and move off the bed. Jayne sits up and moves to the edge of the bed before standing. Almost immediately as she stands she puts her hand on her nightstand, as if to steady herself.  
"Jayne?" I say, worried.  
"I'm really dizzy" she says, breathing hard. Quickly, I run over to where she's standing, and place my hands on her shoulders to steady her.  
"Sit down" I say, but as soon as the words are out of my mouth, Jayne collapses into my arms.  
"Jayne!"

I steady myself, under her slight weight and lie her down on her bedroom floor. I notice she's gone really pale, and as I kneel down to check her breathing I find that it's shallow. Panic starts to course through me as I call her name, and try to wake her up.  
"Jayne, Jayne, can you hear me?"  
I place two fingers on her neck and audibly sigh when I feel her pulse beating beneath my fingers. I grab a blanket off the bed and place it over her to keep her warm, while my mind goes worryingly blank as I try to remember where on earth I put my phone. Looking round the room I spy Jayne's handbag on her drawers and I root through it, until I find her's. I call an ambulance and run downstairs to unlock the front door. Returning to Jayne, I re-check her breathing, and her pulse, but I'm still unable to rouse her. Tears spring to my eyes as I realise the enormity of the situation, and I'm helpless to do anything apart from hold Jayne's hand and pray for her to wake up and be okay.  
*************


	3. Chapter 3

After what seems like an eternity I hear the ambulance pull up outside and the paramedics rushing up the stairs.

"It's going to be okay" I say, more to myself than Jayne, and I lean down to kiss her forehead, smoothing her hair back. When the paramedics arrive I briefly fill them in on the events of the day. As I watch them work on Jayne I can't recall a time when I ever felt so scared. The voice of the paramedic breaks through my train of thought.

"We've stabilised her, so we're going to take her to the hospital. Are you coming in the ambulance?" I nod, and follow them downstairs into the waiting ambulance. Once inside I resume my position at Jayne's side, and take her hand, which feels cold and clammy. From then on, everything's a blur as we get out of the ambulance and suddenly I find myself in the waiting room, unable to keep still. Every time I see a nurse, I rush over to them and ask about Jayne's progress but the only reply I get is that she's "being worked on." Eventually I see a doctor walk into the waiting room and search the room with her eyes.

"Mr. Dean?" she calls.

"Yes, that's me" I say, moving over to her. "How is she? Is she awake?" She looks at me with kind eyes.

"Let's go somewhere private to talk" I follow her into a small, private room and the fear starts to course through to me as I realise that whatever she has to say can't be good.

"Okay Mr. Dean, Jayne is stable, which is good, however she hasn't come round yet. We've performed a CT scan, which shows that she has increased intracranial pressure, which means that she has swelling on her brain"

"Oh God..." I say, not believing what I'm hearing. "What...what does this mean?"

She pauses.

"Well, we have a number of medical options we can try before we try the surgical approach"

My head was swimming, and all I could think was that I needed to see Jayne, needed her now.

"I need to see her" I say.

She nods understandably. "I'll take you through" She stands and leads me through several corridors before indicating me towards a room. As I step in, and see Jayne, my stomach drops, and a for a moment I forget to breathe. She's on a drip, hooked up to various machines with a tube down her throat.

"Oh Jayne" I hear myself say. The doctor places a hand on my arm.

"I know this looks scary, but we're doing everything we can to reduce the swelling medically, before we consider the surgical option, that's why she's intubated and on a drip."

I can't take my eyes off her. I've never seen her look so small, and vulnerable. All I want to do is take her in my arms and make everything okay. But I can't.

"What happens now?"

"We'll monitor her closely for the evening, and through the night, we need to make sure her blood pressure doesn't drop too low. Then, in the morning we'll do a repeat CT scan, if the swelling hasn't decreased then we would need to consider the surgical option"

"Okay" I say my voice shaky.

"I'll leave you alone now" she smiles slightly at me and leaves the room.

My legs feel like jelly as I pull a chair up to her bedside. I sink into it, and just stare at her numbly for a couple of minutes. I don't feel like I can handle this. The room is silent, apart from the beeping of the heart monitor and the woosh of the respirator, breathing for her. I keep expecting her to open her eyes and tell me that everything's okay. The thought of her never waking up again flashes horrifically through my mind and I reach over and clasp her hand in desperation.

"Jayne, sweetheart, wake up for me, just wake up for me please"

But she doesn't.

I feel in my pocket and find my phone. I know I need to ring Phil. I find his number in the phone and ring it, unsure what to say. He doesn't answer so I leave a message telling him to phone me as soon as possible. Rather selfishly though, I don't want him here. I just want to be with Jayne by myself. I retake her hand, and once again, I'm helpless to do anything but watch over her. I've been there for about an hour, staring at the machines, when suddenly I notice that the numbers registering her blood pressure drop slightly. The numbers decrease, like in slow motion, then suddenly it's seems like a hundred things happen at once. The machines alarm starts beeping and, panicked, I press the emergency bell.

"Jayne!" I shout. "Don't do this to me, please"

But it's futile. She can't hear me, and the numbers continue to fall. Nurses, and the doctor from earlier rush in and try to move me out of the way.

"What's wrong?" I ask, fearful

"Her blood pressures dropping" she says.

A nurse moves over to me. "You need to wait outside" she says.

But I can't move.

"Mr. Dean" she says, forcefully.

I turn to leave the room and the last thing I hear is the doctor saying "Get a crash cart, just in case"


	4. Chapter 4

Once again I find myself pacing around the waiting room, and after what seems like an eternity the doctor re-appears and I rush over to her.

"Is she….is she"

I can't get my words out.

"We've managed to stabilize her blood pressure. We're just going to have to monitor her closely throughout the night. You can go back in to see her now"

"Thank you. So much"

I rush into Jayne's room. I have to see for myself that she's stable, and still with me. Once I see her I breathe a sigh of relief. I know she's still critical, but at least she's stable. Glancing at my watch, I see that it's late, and, falling into a chair by her bedside I realize just how much the emotions of the day have got to me. I feel completely, and utterly emotionally drained. I didn't think I would be able to sleep, but I must have done, because when I open my eyes, dim sunlight is filtering through the blinds and there's a nurse in the room, recording Jayne's vitals.

"How is she?" I ask.

"She stayed stable all night, which is good, and we'll be taking her through for her CT Scan shortly, so we'll know more then."

She looks at me, and takes in my dishellevlled appearance.

"Why don't you go down to the cafeteria and get something to eat. By the time you come back, Jayne should be back from her scan"

"That sounds good" I say, standing up and realizing how much I need a coffee. I lean down and kiss Jayne the cheek, whispering to her "Come on Jayne, I need you to pull through for me, I need them to come back and say that you don't need surgery, that you're going to wake up, and come back to me"

The nurse gives me a reassuring smile, and I leave the room, in search of the cafeteria. From inside my pocket I feel my phone vibrating and glancing at the screen I see that it's Phil. This definitely wasn't a call I wanted to take.

"Hello"

"Chris, its Phil, what's going on?"

"Jayne had a fall yesterday, she's in hospital"

"Christ. Is she okay?"

I answer honestly.

"I don't know…."

I briefly explain the details to him.

"So, it's just a matter of waiting for the CT results…..when will you know?"

"Hopefully not to long"

"Well….I can't really come up….I've just got the kids to school…..I suppose…if the results are good I won't really need to come up"

"Well….that's your choice to make Phil…."

"Well, phone me when you know and I'll take it from there, okay?"

"Okay"

We say our goodbye's and hang up. I felt slightly confused, I wasn't Jayne's husband, and I didn't even want to leave her for longer then I had to. If someone had told me that Jayne was in hospital, even if she was going to be okay, I'd still go through hell and high water to get to her. Grabbing a cup of coffee, and some toast I take a seat, and, yet again, all I can do is wait.

After about half an hour, and two quick coffees later I decide to go back to Jayne's room to see if she's back. My timings spot on, and as I turn the corner to her room I see her being wheeled back through. I follow the two nurses through, and I notice that they've removed the intubation tube. One of nurses turns to me.

"The doctor will be with you shortly to discuss the results"

"Okay"

I felt slightly reassured that they had taken the breathing tube out, but I knew I wouldn't get the knots of worry out of my stomach until she was awake, and talking to me.

After a few minutes the doctor comes in, and I can't read anything from her facial expression.

"Mr. Dean I have Jayne's results"


	5. Chapter 5

"I'll get straight to the point Mr. Dean. It's good news"

"Thank God" I breathe.

"The CT Scan has shown that the swelling has decreased, so we've taken her off the respirator, but we're going to keep her on the drip, and continue to monitor her closely, until she wakes up"

"When do you think that would be?"

"It's hard to give a time scale, everyone's different, it might be a few hours, might be longer"

She looks kindly at me.

"Why don't you go home, you've been here all night, and she might be a while yet"

I did want a shower, and a change of clothes, but I didn't want Jayne waking and being on her own.

"It's okay, I just need a real coffee...have you got a proper coffee place here?"

"Not to keen on the cafeteria coffee then?"

I manage a weak smile.

"Caffeine's my weakness"

"There's one on the second floor"

"Thanks"

Walking up the stairs, I suddenly remember Phil, and I wonder why he's not called to see if Jayne's okay. I decide not to call him. If he was worried about Jayne, and I would of thought he would of been, then he should be ringing me, not the other way round. I make a mental note to ask Jayne if everything was alright with Phil when she was better. Grabbing my coffee I head back downstairs to Jayne's room. Setting my coffee down I'm so relieved by the news that I can't help but lean over to her and kiss her gently on the lips.

"You did it Jayne, well done. I'm just going to sit here now, and wait for you to come back to me, whenever you're ready"

Unfortunately the coffee doesn't wake me up as much as I had hoped it would, and before long I find myself drifting off, with Jayne's hand clasped between my own.

Stirring from my sleep, it doesn't take me long to realise that Jayne's squeezing my hand slightly. I sit up and move to her, running my fingers down her cheek as her eyes wrestle open.

"Hey, hey, Jayne"

As her eyes open, I see them widen with panic as she tries to make sense of where she is. She grips my hand tightly.

"Chris" she says weakly.

"It's okay" I say, smoothing her hair back with one hand, and gently squeezing her other.

"What happened...I was at my house...with you"

"You collapsed, at home"

Her grip tightens on mine.

"But its okay now, don't worry, its okay now"

"It hurts" she says, and I can tell from her face that she's in pain.

"Your head?"

She nods, and looks like she's going to cry.

"I'll get the doctor, try not to worry" I give her hand a reassuring squeeze and get up to go but Jayne's voice stops me.

"Chris"

"Yes"

"Please, just come back and hold me"

I look back, and see the tears forming in her eyes. I move back to her bad and gather her up into my arms.

"I'm sorry. I should of done this first"

"Its okay" her voice is muffled. "I just don't really want you to leave, even for a minute"

I reach my hand out and stroke her back softly.

"Jayne, I've barely left your side since you came in, I'm not going anywhere. I'll call the nurse okay, then I don't have to go"

Reaching out behind her I press the button to call the nurse. I stay there, holding her in my arms, until the nurse comes in.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes, she's awake; can you get the doctor please?"

"Sure"

I lean back and look at Jayne's face which is damp with tears. I gently wipe the tears away that are drying on her cheeks.

"Are you okay?"

She drops her gaze.

"Yes" she murmurs. "Just being a little silly I suppose"

"No, you're not. You're just you, and I love you for it."

She turns her gaze back up to me.

"Really?"

"Yes, you dafty. You know this"

She still looks troubled and I can't help but ask...

"Jayne, is everything okay with you and Phil?"

She sighs.

"I don't know...I..."

She doesn't get a chance to finish her sentence, as just at that second the doctor walks into the room and the conversation is forgotten about.


	6. Chapter 6

"How are you feeling?"

The voice of the doctor comes from the doorway.

"She's in pain" I say, before Jayne can say anything.

"I'm not surprised Jayne, you've suffered a bad head injury. Did Chris explain what happened?"

"No, he hadn't got round to it yet" she says with a weak smile. The doctor explains to Jayne about her head injury, and Jayne doesn't say anything until she's finished.

"No wonder my head hurts so much then"

"Yes, I'm afraid it will for the next few days, I can give you some pain relief, if you want"

Jayne nods. "When can I go home?"

"I'd be happy to let you go later this afternoon, as long as your blood pressure stays stable…..but I don't want you staying on your own for a couple of days"

Jayne looks at me.

"I'll stay with you" I say.

"What about getting back on the ice?"

"In a couple of days. Jayne, you've really had a lucky escape, you really need to take it easy for a while, let this one…"

She points at me.

"…..take care of you"

"A couple of days off wouldn't hurt Jayne" I say.

"What about the routine?" she protests.

"It can wait. Don't worry"

She gives me a look.

"Jayne. Torvill. You are not going back on the ice until Friday" I say sternly.

"Fine" she says. "Actually, I think my head would protest against it anyway"

"There you go" say's the doctor.

She moves over to Jayne's drip and presses a small vial of liquid down.

"Pain relief" she explains. "It'll probably make you drowsy, so I'll come back in a few hours, and hopefully we'll be able to discharge you"

"Thanks" we say, as she leaves the room.

Jayne sinks back into the pillows.

"Are you okay?" I ask warily. "You look all woozy"

"I feel it…I feel all druggy"

"Just relax. Close your eyes"

I run my fingers up and down her arm, in a bid to sooth her. It works for a few minutes, and then I hear "Chris" in a small voice.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think you could come up here and hold me? I feel really strange"

I eyed the bed. It was small, but, truth be told all I'd wanted to do all day was lie with her in my arms.

Going the opposite side of her drip, I carefully move over to her and lie down so we're facing each other. Gently, I brush the hair away from her face.

"I was so worried" I say, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. "I thought…..thought that you weren't going to wake up…"

She opens her eyes.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to scare you"

"I know you didn't"

I lean forward to kiss her lips gently, but somehow I feel all my emotions rush through me at once, and I kiss her in manner I hadn't done since we were younger. Hesitantly, she responds and her mouth opens to meet mine. I slide my tongue into her mouth, fearing that any second she would break apart from me and slap me.

But she doesn't.

Her hands move up to tangle in my hair as she fully responds to me. I feel her tongue meet mine, and the kiss deepens. I'm scared to move my hands anywhere because of the drip so I settle for placing them protectively on her waist. We kiss for about a minute, eventually ending to break apart for breath.

"Chris…" she says, almost dreamily.

I place chaste kisses on her lips, forehead and cheek, eventually stopping to look at her face. She has her eyes closed and I look at her for a minute, before bringing up the one person I really shouldn't.

"I….Phil….said…"

I can't form my words.

"I don't want Phil" she mumbles, leaning her head against my chest.

"Just you….just stay with me….please"

I leave her for a few minutes, listening to her breathing, until I wonder if we need to talk about what's just happened.

"Jayne….." I say. "Do we….need to talk….about what just happened?"

There's no response.

"Jayne?" I look down on her, on my chest and I realise I'm too late. She's already fallen asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

A few hours later Jayne wakes up and gets discharged. We take a taxi home, as our cars are at Jayne's, and she's quiet on the way back, clutching a bag of strong painkillers. I reach through the space between us to take her hand.

"You okay?"

She turns to me.

"I think the pain reliefs wearing off" she says, not looking so good.

"Right, bath, then bed" I say.

"Sounds good"

Once inside, I make her sit down while I run her a bath and make her a cup of tea. While she's bathing I call Phil to let him know that Jayne's okay, and that I would be staying with her. He doesn't sound overly concerned, and for the second time in two days I feel uneasy about their relationship. It didn't help matters that Jayne and I hadn't yet spoken about our kiss. I tried to rationalise…maybe, everything with Phil was fine….though I didn't believe that….and thinking about it now, I couldn't remember Phil coming to see her since we'd started the new series, and that was well over a month ago. I hear Jayne pad down the stairs and I quickly push all thoughts of Phil to the back of my mind.

"Hey" she says. She's wearing her dressing gown, cheeks flushed from her hot bath, hair curling damply around her face. She looks gorgeously unkempt, and it's all I can do to not go over to her and take her in my arms. But I know I can't. We need to talk about Phil. She touches her dressing gown self-consciously.

"I…didn't want to put on clothes"

I signal for her to sit down.

"I made you some tea"

"Thanks"

She sits and clasps the mug with both hands.

"You look a bit better"

"I took some painkillers before my bath" she says, taking a sip of tea.

"Oh"

She yawns, and then notices the look on my face.

"Are you okay? Did you want to talk?"

"I…I just wanted to say….that I spoke to Phil….and he's fine about me staying here"

If she saw through the lie she doesn't say anything. She shrugs instead.

"Why wouldn't he be?

I open my mouth to try and begin to talk about the kiss but before I can say anything she stands up.

"I think I'm going to go for a lie down" she says. "Are you coming?"

I wanted too, but I didn't trust myself. The kiss in the hospital had brought up feelings for Jayne I thought I had buried.

"Not right now, I've got to do some choreography for the show"

That wasn't strictly a lie, but she didn't look like she believed me.

"Okay, maybe….I'll…see you in a bit then"

She bit her lip, and then turned away from me.

Flopping down on the sofa I felt like my mind was in turmoil. I wanted her, to be honest I had done for a long time. I never told Jayne, but she was the reason that my marriage to Jill had ended. Jill couldn't understand my need to work with Jayne again, and I chose Jayne over her, and I knew-well-know, that Jayne would always come first over any woman in my life. Something was going on between her and Phil, something that made me feel very uneasy. Sighing, I knowing I wasn't going to get any answers at the moment I pulled out my work papers and began to do some choreography.

Hours later, I hear Jayne shouting my name, and, worriedly, she sounded distressed. I run up the stairs, taking them two at a time. Pushing open her bedroom door I see her, sitting up and shaking, her face pale.

"Jayne?" I say, crossing over to her and sitting on the bed. She falls into my arms, then tries to push me away.

"No, no, no"

"Jayne, please talk to me"

I sounded desperate, and I was. I tried to put my arms around her.

"Jayne. Please. Christ, you're shaking really badly"

This time she clings onto me and doesn't let go.

"What's going on?" I say, trying to keep the worry out of my voice.

"Nothing, it's nothing"

However I can hear the tears in her voice.

"Jayne, it's not nothing…I can tell"

She pulls away from me and wipes her eyes.

"I had a bad dream" she mumbles.

I reach out and take her hand which is still shaking.

"Talk to me" I say gently.

"I was too high, in the silks, right at the top…..and I fell, and you weren't there, but Phil was, and he didn't do anything to help….he just stood there"

It was painfully obvious to me that this fall had shaken Jayne more than she would admit, and that things between her and Phil were definitely not okay. I hold her for several minutes while her sobs subside.

"We had a fight" she suddenly says.

"When?" I say, keeping her secure in my arms.

"The morning of my fall"

I wait, waiting for her to open up to me.

"We haven't really been right for a while, and…" she takes a deep breath. "Everything, just came out, he feels I'm prioritising everything over him, that, for the past few years he feels I've been shutting him out…I don't know…we've argued about my skating before, but this feels different, and I just don't know anymore"

I hold her tightly.

"And that's why you fell, you were…"

"Distracted" she finishes my sentence.

"And then….." she continues. "When I woke up in hospital, it was you who'd stayed all night, holding my hand, while my husband doesn't even have the decency to phone me…..and…when I think about it, you've always been there for me….always"

"Jayne"

I put her at arms length and take her face in my hands.

"We've known each other since we were kids, we've done, and continue to do so much together, you're my best friend in the whole world. I will always do everything I can to keep you safe, and make you happy. I love you."

She looks up at me, and presses her body against mine.

"Do you think…you could just love me….right now?"


	8. Chapter 8

I move forward and capture her lips, and there's no hesitation this time as she kisses me back, sliding her tongue to meet mine. I lie her back on the bed, kissing her with urgency as I feel myself getting aroused. Suddenly, hands are everywhere. Mine tug at Jayne's pyjamas, desperately trying to remove the material so I can feel her. Trying not to break contact with her for too long I slide my hands under her pyjama top and pull it over her head, removing my own shirt in the process. My hands go her breasts, and I go painfully hard as I touch them, causing them to go hard and firm. A moan escapes Jayne's lips and I go down to them, encircling her nipple with my tongue, causing her to arch up into me. As she does so, my erection bumps up against her thigh. She utters a gasp upon feeling it, and moans my name in anticipation. I slip my hand inside her pyjama trousers and inside her knickers. It's my turn to moan as I feel how wet she is, and how she responds to my touch.

Without warning I slip two fingers inside her, groaning as I feel how ready she is. Her eyes slip closed as she surrenders to the feeling and I know that I can't hold out much longer.

"Jayne" I say, my breath ragged. "I need you now"

"So….do I" she manages to say, her breathing matching mine.

I pull down her bottoms and her underwear while she tackles my belt, and pulls down my trousers and underwear, springing forth my erection. I hover over her, both of us fully naked now and her eyes lock with mine.

"Are you….."

"Yes, I'm sure"

Gently, I start pushing into her and I watch her face, her eyes not leaving mine. Every time I give her more of me, her eyes widen and her mouth opens in a silent moan of pleasure. Once fully inside, I stop, feeling completely overwhelmed with emotions. Looking in her eyes, I can tell she is too.

"You're so beautiful" I whisper, before capturing her lips again. The first proper thrust makes me cry out with emotion, and I carry on gently, trying not hurt her. I needn't of worried, Jayne's hips rise up to meet mine perfectly, and we move as one, our bodies so used to being one together on the ice. Every time I thrust into her she moans with pleasure, and it's all I can do not to explode within her. I know that I won't last long so I move my hand down and rub her clitoris, giving her an instant reaction. Her back arches, and she says my name in a way that I never thought would fall from her lips.

"Chris….Oh yes.."

The way she says it just makes me want her more and more. Jayne moves her arms up to my back and she tugs at my hair gently before whispering, "Harder…please. I'm so…" The rest of her sentence turns into moans as I thrust harder inside her and continue to rub her clitoris in time with my movements.

"Chris…" she pants. "I can't…..Oh God...Chris…don't stop…I'm so close…please.."

The rest of her sentence is lost as I feel her climax and gasp my name, and I can't help but explode inside her.

"Jayne…Oh God…Jayne" I say, shuddering within her.

Unable to move, I stay over her, while her eyes slip dreamily closed, and I place kisses all over her skin, before slipping out of her. I take in the sight of her, flushed from orgasm, a slight sheen covering her body. Her eyes are still closed and, almost dream like she runs her hands up and down my back.

"You're so beautiful"

She opens her eyes and smiles at me.

"You're not half-bad yourself"

I raise my eyebrows.

"Not half bad?"

She reaches up and smoothes my damp hair back from my sweaty forehead.

"I can't believe it….."

I finish her thought.

"…All these years"

I move beside her and gather her into my arms, kissing the back of her neck. I keep myself awake until I'm sure she's gone to sleep, and, relieved to have her safe in my arms I drift off into an easy sleep. The next morning, however I awake to find Jayne pulling away from me.

"Hey, come back" I say sleepily, trying to pull her back into my arms.

"Not right now" she says, wriggling out away from my touch.

"What's wrong?" I say, fully awake now.

She sits on the edge of the bed, pulling the sheet to cover herself.

"Jayne?"

She turns to face me, and I can tell from her face that something's wrong.

"Everything's fine, I'm just going to have a shower"

I can tell she's not being truthful but I decide not to push her.

"Okay" I say. "I'll be downstairs"

"Okay"

With that, she turns and walks away from me, leaving me wondering if we'd just made the biggest mistake of our lives.


End file.
